I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize