All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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