two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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