Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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