Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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