she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I bet he comes in French.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
