This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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