Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
