I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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