You're so nebulous sometimes
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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