I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
