Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wish I only lived at night.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
