Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
