I'm really into asian looking animals
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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