Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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