Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
if only i could text you this smell
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
