so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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