Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
