I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
