I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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