Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
