I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
