she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
