Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
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I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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