So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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