dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
