is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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