On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Let's get the cat blown out
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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