i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
