oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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