My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
