jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
