She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize