Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
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Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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