so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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