Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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