The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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