some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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