I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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