oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
