you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
