The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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