exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
