Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize