Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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