They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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