Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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