I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
