did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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