Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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