I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Boobs are out for the taking
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
