Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
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