You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
