we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
