i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.