So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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