im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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