cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
