oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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