I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
