They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
