i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
