And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
