This girl is more easily done than said...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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