and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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